Life Lessons from the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders

Notes on Love & Laundry.

I am not a cheerleader. Nor do I play one on TV. In fact, I am the opposite of a cheerleader. I'm a creaky, clunky, uncoordinated chairsitter. On the few occasions in my life when I've had to learn a dance routine, I felt like I was doing body algebra. I couldn't remember the steps, and when everyone else stepped to the right, I inevitably lunged to the left.

For me, dancing consists of shuffling my feet and sticking my neck out in time to the music, sort of like a rhythmic chicken.

Essentially, that's what I am. A Chicken Dancer.

For these reasons, I am puzzled by my love for, and fascination with a new documentary streaming on Netflix called America's Sweethearts: the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. If you've seen it, I'd love to know what you think. Did you love it too, or am I the only one?

This documentary takes us through the incredibly competitive process required to audition for and become a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader (hereafter referred to as a DCC).

First of all, these women are tough as nails, disciplined warriors in Lycra and hairspray. In their opening routine, they do something called a jump split, where they jump in the air and then land in a split.

It looks extremely painful, and they do it over and over and over again. Some veterans who've done the jump split over multiple seasons end up with lifelong hip and back problems, eventually requiring surgery. But they swear it's worth it to be a DCC. And as the documentary goes on, I start to understand why.

These cheerleaders are paid the equivalent of a full time Chick-fil-A worker's salary, so most of them have day jobs. One of these women works all day as a nurse, before heading off to long hours of DCC rehearsals at night.

So why, you may ask, do they endure pay so low they need a full-time job to support their cheerleading habit, plus long-lasting physical trauma to their bodies?

This documentary shows the reasons behind their dedication. We learn about their sisterhood, their talent, and the chance to do what they love.

The sisterhood surprised me. I don't watch much reality tv, being more of a Brit Box/Masterpiece kind of viewer. I thought I might be in for one of those shows where people scream at each other over a missing tube of mascara.

Instead, we watch a beautiful group of beautiful women supporting each other through a grueling audition process. We see tears when friends are cut from the squad. We see lifelong friendships formed. We see white-haired women who cheered together in the '70's, 80's, and 90's take the field again for a reunion, reunited with the women who are still some of their closest friends. We see mentorship and camaraderie. We see love.

And we see women who say every sacrifice is worth it for the chance to use their gift.

Dance is their God given talent, an ability they've honed since they were girls. You see it in their bodies when they move. You hear it in their voice when they talk about dance. They have an incredible gift, and when they use it, they bring joy to themselves and to everyone who watches them.

And though my ability to sit in a chair and eat Utz Cheese Curls while writing words could not be more different from their innate grace and flexibility, I understand this.

I believe this is the reason we're all here.

Let me clarify: Most of us are not here to don the world's skimpiest outfits and shimmy across a football field in white cowboy boots while tossing our hair like a herd of wild stallions.

But we are here to use our gifts and talents to bring ourselves and other people joy. I believe this with my whole heart.

I'm writing this Love and Laundry post for August 1, the official release day for the print and audio book versions of Friends with Secrets.

Like the cheerleaders, this opportunity to use my gift came with setbacks and heartbreak. My "audition" to be a published author took well over a decade, and I have six unpublished novels sitting in a drawer. Landing an agent and a traditional publishing deal involved countless rejections. The process was every bit as grueling and painful as the jump splits.

But that's okay, because now that I've made the team, I get wonderful emails from readers saying that my book made them feel seen, or made them laugh when they were having a bad day, and it makes every painful step worthwhile.

And so today on the official Friends with Secrets Publication Day, I want to remind you that the world needs your gift, too.

If you haven't used your gift in awhile, it might be hard to find. Maybe your hands were full, and you had to put it down somewhere, and now you can't remember what it looks like.

Maybe you had to set it aside because of kids, jobs, or aging parents. As women, we tend to be the caregivers for all the living things. Even the pets and houseplants are somehow our responsibility. And this can make it hard to find time to use our gift.

But you do have a gift. And we know it's there, because each of us is given one.

How will you recognize your gift when you find it again?

Well, it's the thing that makes you lose track of time.

It's the thing that makes you feel skillful and talented.

It's the thing that doesn't just make you smile. When other people see what you've made or done, they smile too.

It's the thing that gives you pride when you step back and say, look what I've created.

And if you find your gift and use it, you get this wonderful bonus. Just like those cheerleaders in the documentary, you get a community.

Writing has given me a loving community of women at Lake Union, in the Women's Fiction Writers Association, and in the Washington Romance Writers who share my gift and support me as I use it.

And you are part of this community.

Some of you have known me for years and were kind enough to comment on Facebook if you liked something I'd written. Or you saw me in the carpool line at school and asked me how the writing was going. Some of you downloaded Friends with Secrets as an Amazon First Reads pick. Some of you sent me a lovely e-mail telling me how much you liked it. Some of you left a wonderful review and helped other readers discover Friends with Secrets.

And you all signed up for Notes on Love and Laundry, which is a new community of highly intelligent people with excellent taste in books and a fantastic sense of humor. I suspect you're all incredibly good looking, too. And I'm pretty sure you have really great hair.

In fact, you're probably walking around your house right now doing perfect jump splits.

So on Publication Day at the end of this epic journey to become a published author, I just want to thank you for encouraging me to use my gift, for being my community, for making Friends with Secrets a best seller, and for being the very best cheerleaders any author could possibly have.

More adventure lies ahead. No jump splits required :-)

Yours with love and gratitude,

Christine

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