Hello, my beloved Notes on Love and Laundry readers,
As we all know, the end of the school year is not for the faint of heart. Recitals, spring plays, graduation, confirmation, first communion, spring sports, banquets...it's all packed into May as we gallop madly toward summer.
It's been a busy week here at the Gunderson ranch as I dole out eyeshadow and blush in my job as backstage Make Up Mom for my daughter's school production of Frozen Jr. Therefore, I am bringing back by popular demand, (and because I did not have time to write something new), my super scientific Mother's Day Quiz.
I hope you all have a wonderful Mother's Day, because you are wonderful, and because you've earned it :-)
Your comrade in arms,
Christine
Christine's Mother’s Day Quiz
Are you wondering if you really qualify to celebrate Mother’s Day? Take my simple quiz and find out!
1. Are you tired?
2. Are you the only person in your home who can find the following items: batteries, scotch tape, athletic equipment, shoes, homework assignments, posterboard, textbooks, dollar bills, dog leashes, scissors, and swim goggles?
3. Do you find yourself driving everyone, everywhere, all the time, in a vehicle with unspeakable things crumpled between the seats and melted into the cup holders?
4. Do you have a superpower which allows you to shatter the space-time continuum, completing ordinary errands in impossibly small increments of time, like picking up a child at basketball practice while simultaneously dropping a different child at the math tutor across town in the rain during rush hour in only 12 minutes when it really takes 30?
5. Do you worry?
6. Do complete strangers who have never had, or no longer have children in their own homes give you unsolicited advice on how they would raise, or did raise children far more perfect than the ones currently in your care?
7. Are you an unpaid event planner and administrative assistant? Have you ever planned any of the following without compensation: birthday parties, dentist appointments, vacations, carpools, veterinarian visits, carnivals, parades, class parties, swim meets, sports leagues, award ceremonies, field trips, prom parties, grad nights, jamborees, galas, fetes, fundraisers, Christmas, Thanksgiving and/or Easter?
8. Have you ever spent hours cooking delicious, healthy food which other people smell and then describe as “weird?”
9. Have you ever purchased and wrapped your own Christmas presents?
10. Have you ever cajoled, bribed, or even shouted at people to take actions which do not benefit you in any way but would benefit these other people immeasurably? Have you ever been ignored or even ridiculed for suggesting that it might, on occasion, be a good idea to wear a coat, take a shower, put on clean underwear, go to bed before midnight, get some fresh air, use deodorant, play outside, bring a sweater in case it gets cold, eat vegetables, wear your retainers, play fewer video games, read more books, watch less tv, and/or take vitamins?
11. Do you find yourself repeating simple instructions over and over again, like "Get In The Car?"
12. Have you ever created chore charts, color-coded cubbies, oral hygiene incentives, and elaborate organization systems which last approximately three days before being overrun by the Forces of Chaos swirling around you?
13. Do you share a home with people who sometimes get halfway to their destination before realizing they are not wearing shoes?
14. Are you the only person in your home who really knows how to load the dishwasher?
Still not sure if you qualify to celebrate Mother’s Day?
Answer this Bonus Question!
15. Are you blessed to be the most loved, needed, vital, comforting, encouraging, and essential person in a child's life?
Congratulations! If you answered YES to just one of these questions you qualify to celebrate Mother's Day! (And to clean up the kitchen after everyone makes you breakfast).
Happy Mother's Day!
*This test was written by Christine Gunderson, who is not a scientist. Because of all the math.
Hilarious, and oh-so-too true!